What can I say that hasn't already been said?

I've been drinking a little.

I'm tired a lot, just tired. Physically, mentally, spiritually. Haha, can I get a little soul out here?!

I don't know, it's my thinking again. Just getting me into the trouble I need to be in. Doesn't giving a shit about anything seem like a waste of time?

School. I don't see the importance. Stephens (yes, plural). I shouldn't care I think they're all cute. It's an impulse and I just don't want it there. Anything.

It's not a depression, I don't think. But I can't tell what it is. I'm not crying, not like I do when I'm mentally overwhelmed/depressed/pmsing. So, is it something new? A new wave of desired apathy? No way to seem to place it.

Things should go my way for a day. That'd be fun. Just have everything I plan work out nicely, have some kind of meaning, maybe even get a few good memories. I need a good distraction. Because apparently sex never worked for me. Pain did for a time, but that creates drama I don't want. Always comes with a price.

Should I be single or try to date? Do I even care enough to want to get along with someone for that long? Is Brad right in thinking that it's all just awkward situations. Or maybe I'm still a little buzzed, not drunk, and thinking a lot of things make sense.

So I figure I want nothing serious, but will the other side think the same way? If I did get with someone, that is. Because to tell the truth the only person I feel partial to is obsessed with wrestling and hasn't dated anyone. And he's 17. Oh joy.

Meh. I'm tired of bitching that I can't turn on the apathy. Sorry.